The Only One There Ever Was
by cre8ive.ovadose
Summary: There was only one time. Only one attempt to tear us apart forever. But it was the most horrible feeling and it still haunts me. But there was also only ever one love of his life. Only one person that he shared everything with. That he fought to look after. This is the story of how I found that out. Warnings inside. Part of Second Chance.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Only One There Ever Was

Rating: M

Characters: Sebastian Smythe, Nick Warbler, OCs

Summary: There was only one time. Only one attempt to tear us apart forever. But it was the most horrible feeling and it still haunts me. But there was also only ever one love of his life. Only one person that he shared everything with. That he fought to look after. This is the story of how I found that out. Warnings inside. Part of Second Chance.

Warnings: Really super triggery talk and description of depression, self-harm and suicide. Medical squick. Will tailor warnings to each chapter where applicable but I'm not being nice this time. Really using this to cope with stuff at the moment so I'm just unleashing everything in my arsenal.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or these wonderful characters.

**A/N: I've put the prologue at the start of chapter 1 because the prologue isn't really long enough to constitute putting in an extra chapter. Thank you :)**

**THE ONLY ONE THERE EVER WAS**

**Prologue:**

There was only one time. Only one attempt to tear us apart forever. But it was the most horrible feeling and it still haunts me.

But there was also only ever one love of his life. Only one person that he shared everything with. That he fought to look after.

This is the story of how I found that out.

**Chapter 1:**

Nick struggled to key in the digits for Sebastian's home phone as he cried into his free hand. He was hunched over in one of the chairs in the emergency waiting room and had finally given up trying to get information out of the nurses and doctors regarding Sebastian's condition. When Annabelle answered the phone, he only cried harder.

"Hello? Hello? Who's there? Is everything alright?"

"A-Annabelle – fuck, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – I didn't want to leave him – I didn't think he'd do it! I'm so fucking sorry!"

"Nick? Nick, is that you? What's happened? Where are you?"

"I'm at – at the hospital. He was barely there when I found him. I called the ambulance and – there was so much blood and I kept standing on pills – they won't tell me anything!"

"Okay honey, you need to calm down. Can you take some deep breaths? You've done so well to get this far, sweetie. Is there someone you can call to be with you?"

Nick breathed long and deep as he tried to think of who he could call. He and Sebastian had a few friends in Chicago but none that they felt comfortable sharing their deepest secret with and certainly none that he wanted to see right now.

"Nick, are you still there?"

"Y-Yeah – there's no one I can really call. I'd have to explain everything to any of our friends and I just – I just can't do that right now."

"That's okay, totally understandable. Marcus and I will try to get ourselves up there by morning – do you know which hospital you're at?"

"N-No, I'll find out and text you."

"Okay, do you want me to stay on the line?"

"N-No, you can go."

"Okay. If you need to talk, just call, don't feel like you're being intrusive or anything. See if you can get some food and water into your system and try to relax. He'll be fine."

"Thank you, Annabelle."

"It's no problem. And Nick? You are being so brave right now. It takes a lot of strength to explain to someone what's just happened. Thank you so much."

"T-Thank you," Nick replied before he muttered a quick goodbye and hung up. He held his head in his hands and tried to figure out what to do now. What was he _supposed _to do now? Sit and cry? Find something to eat? Stare at a wall? How could they expect him to sit around and wait while his boyfriend lay somewhere possibly dying. Or already dead.

That thought sickened Nick to his core and before he knew what was happening, he'd thrown up all over the linoleum floor. Two nurses were at his side in an instant, pulling him to his feet and leading him through a set of double doors to the emergency room. Through teary eyes, he saw the walls lined with beds, some occupied, others empty and wondered where Sebastian was before he started crying again.

"Honey, can you tell us your name?" the blonde nurse at his right said as she helped him onto the bed. The other nurse was pulling off his shoes before she disappeared.

He managed to croak out a response and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. His throat was on fire and his mouth tasted awful but his tears kept him swallowing as his breath hitched.

"Okay Nick, can you tell us what's wrong? Are you sick or what's happened?"

"M-My boyfriend tried to kill himself, killed himself, I don't know! I don't know what's happening!"

"Okay, try and take some deep breaths for me, you've worked yourself up worrying. When Nadia comes back I'll get her to help you clean up and see if I can find out some information. What's your boyfriend's name?"

"S-Sebastian, Sebastian Smythe."

The nurse nodded before she carefully rubbed Nick's back, watching him closely until Nadia came back. Nick pretended not to hear her whispering about him when she did.

"The kid's boyfriend tried to kill himself. Clean him up, I'm going to try and figure out what's going on. I'm sick of them not sharing this information and me having to clean vomit off my emergency room floor."

Nadia nodded before she looked to Nick with a soft smile. "It's gonna be okay, sweetie. We'll get you cleaned up and find out what's going on."

"N-Nadia right?" he managed as she dipped a cloth in a bucket of warm, soapy water and wiped it over his chin.

"Yeah, I didn't catch your name before."

"Nick," he answered, trying to smile and failing miserably.

"It's gonna be fine, Nick. And I'm sorry about Marina; she's pulling a double shift and hasn't had coffee in three hours."

"Yeah, Seb's like that sometimes."

"Yeah? How long have you two been together?"

"A year last month."

"That's wonderful! My boyfriend's taking me out for dinner next week for our six month anniversary."

"Congratulations," Nick said with a more successful attempt at a smile.

"Thank you," Nadia stepped back slightly before she let the cloth slip into the bucket. "Do you want me to get you some water to rinse with?"

"Yes please."

"We'll just wait for Marina to get back."

Nick felt like he was being babysat but he didn't complain, he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere. They didn't have to wait long for the other nurse though; she stormed back with a glare that could melt the polar icecaps in five seconds flat.

"No visitors for three days."

"That was going to be kind of obvious," Nadia murmured. "But do we have any news?"

"Please say that he's going to be okay," Nick almost begged, looking between the nurses with wide eyes.

"They've pumped his stomach – he swallowed about half a canister of his anti-depressants. They're trying to stitch his arms up but they're struggling – if they manage that, they'll line his stomach with charcoal and then he should be right," Marina answered.

"'If they manage that?' You mean there's still a chance he could – could-" Nick didn't finish the question, it hurt too much.

Nadia's hand was on his back again, smoothing small circles across the plane. "They'll do everything they can, but sometimes with all the blood they get stuck. They can't see to stitch him up because of the blood but the blood won't stop coming until they stitch him up. It's not as easy as we'd like to hope it is."

Nick nodded swallowed and nodded numbly.

"We can let you try to relax in here for a little while, Nick, but you will have to go home eventually. Is there someone who can come and be with you?"

"N-No… I called Sebastian's parents and they're on their way from Ohio but they won't be here 'til morning."

"There's no friends you could crash with for the night?"

Nick knew that Nina and Jake lived not too far from a hospital and he thought he'd recognised where they were when he'd climbed out of the ambulance.

"There might be someone; I'll need to call them, though."

"Well, we'll leave you to do that. If they don't know about Sebastian's situation though, I wouldn't mention it, just to keep his confidentiality," Marina said before she and Nadia disappeared around a corner.

Nick took out his phone again, flicking through his contacts until he found Jake's number. He hit "call" and held the phone to his ear, rubbing his face as he waited for his friend to pick up.

"Nick? … Dude, it's two in the morning. What is it?"

"Seb and I, we uh, had a fight… I locked myself out – can I crash at yours tonight?"

"Sure, sure. How long will you be?"

"Not sure, at least fifteen minutes, probably."

"Okay. Keep safe, alright?"

"Sure, thanks Jake."

"No problem. See you soon."

Nick hung up before he climbed off the bed, looked down at his bloodied hoodie and sighed before he shrugged out of it. He'd throw it out somewhere – of course that would be suspicious, he'd ask the nurses. He headed back out to the foyer, finding Marina and Nadia at the triage desk.

"I'm going to my friend's for the night, I'll come back in the morning with Seb's parents," he explained quickly before he held up his hoodie. "What do I do about this though? I can't really take it with me and it's kind of wrecked anyway."

"We can get rid of it," Nadia answered, taking it with a gloved hand. "Have we got your number in case anything happens?"

Nick shook his head and recited it for them to note down before he headed out into the night.

**A/N: So this will be another multi-chapter fic. I'll probably be posting pretty rapidly as I did with "Weekend at the Smythe's" so keep an eye out. Thank you for reading Frank xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings: Talk of depression, suicide and self-harm.

Disclaimer: I'm not lucky enough to own Glee.

**Chapter 2:**

Jake answered the door in his pyjamas, stepping aside to let Nick in from the cold night. The couch was swathed in blankets and Nina stood in their small kitchen stirring liquid in a mug. She smiled slightly, her tawny hair a mess and her eyes tired.

"I'm sorry I woke you guys up, I just, didn't really have anywhere else to go," Nick murmured, standing on the spot awkwardly.

"That's fine, what are friends for?" Nina replied. "Do you want a cup of tea or anything?"

"T-Tea would be great actually."

"You don't look too good, Nick. What happened with you two?"

They had moved to sit around the small table in the middle of the room. Nina and Jake sat on one side, watching Nick with worried eyes.

"We just had a fight, I stormed out and slammed the door but I didn't have my keys and he didn't answer me when I asked him to let me back in. I was out in the hall for a few hours before I called you."

"Is he okay?" Nina asked. She had never met two boys as oblivious to other people's opinions of them as Nick and Sebastian but she and Jake had agreed early on to play along.

"I don't – no."

"Well, that's reasonable, he's just had a-"

"No, I mean he's not alright," Nick clarified, shaking his head.

"What's happened, Nick?" Nina asked fretfully as she returned with another steaming cup of tea.

He took a deep shuddering breath. "I got home from my night class and the house was totally silent…

"_Sebastian?" Nick called out, dropping his keys on the coffee table. He'd expected to find his boyfriend on the couch watching the game. A niggling sense of worry crept up in his mind but he shook it away as he headed into the bedroom. Perhaps Sebastian was sleeping._

_The bed was empty; unmade and clothes littering the floor. Nothing unusual. Maybe Sebastian had gone for a walk._

He would have left a note_, Nick thought to himself before he froze. On his pillow was a folded piece of yellow legal pad paper. He lunged towards it, unfolding it and reading it as quickly as his eyes would let him._

My dearest, beautiful Nick,

I'm sorry I'm doing this. I'm sorry you got so deep into this. I didn't want to involve anyone. But I guess that was always inevitable.

But I can't do this anymore. School is impossible, I'm cutting all the time and I just can't stand to see the look of disappointment on your face anymore.

But know that I have never stopped loving you, Nick. Not for one second. But you deserve better than this, better than me. I'm not worth the pain I know I cause you.

Stay safe and beautiful and strong. You're going to live a long life with so many wonderful things. Live for both of us, okay?

I love you. I'm so sorry.

Sebastian

"… I knew where he was then… He was so pale, I thought he was already gone but his eyelids were still flickering. He was even still trying to cut himself. There were pills all over the floor. I called 911 and just cried," the tears came again and Nick bowed his head. He felt a hand on his shoulder but he couldn't look up. He'd just betrayed Sebastian's confidence when the boy had no way to defend himself.

"Are you alright?" Nina asked.

"Of course he's not," Jake answered. "It's okay though Nick, you can stay here tonight and when you're ready to go back to the hospital, I'll go with you."

His head snapped up. "No! No! Sebastian can't know that I told you! He'd never forgive me!"

"Nick, he'll understand-"

"No he won't! He's just tried to kill himself, he isn't going to see reason!"

"Dude, calm down."

Nick pushed back in his chair and got to his feet, shaking his head. "You can't tell him! Just pretend you don't know! Or that you found out at school, they did some announcement or something about depression and suicide-"

His breath was forced from him when Jake jumped up and pulled him into a tight hug. He cried hysterically into Jake's shoulder as he returned the hug. He could hear Nina shuffling around behind them before Jake began carefully steering him towards the couch. He was helped down and his shoes pulled off before he curled up on his side, finally letting go of Jake. His friend sat down beside the couch as Nina draped a blanket over him.

"Do you want me to stay with you, Nick?" Jake asked quietly, watching his friend sadly. In the short time he'd known Nick and Sebastian; he'd never have guessed he'd be in this position.

"P-Please," Nick whispered.

"Okay," Jake said with a smile. "Do you need to go back to the hospital in the morning?"

"Y-Yeah, Seb's parents are driving up. They'll call me when they're getting close."

"Okay, try and get some sleep, buddy. I'll stay right here."

"Thank you," Nick murmured as his eyelids drooped and he drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: Not sure what's going to happen next but I have other parts figured out. I won't update again tonight (it's night here) though. I hope you're enjoying this :) Frank xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

Warnings: Talk of depression, suicide, self-harm. Medical squick (a little worse this time, if you get queasy easily, read with caution. It isn't extensive, it's only one or two sentences but just be aware it's there). Swearing (maybe, I don't remember).

Disclaimer: Still not cool enough to own Glee.

**Chapter 3:**

In the morning, Nick was woken by his too-loud ringtone. He blindly groped around for his phone before he found it under the pillow. He answered it and held it to his ear, groggily greeting whoever was calling.

"Nick? Are you alright? Where are you?" Annabelle Smythe asked, her voice full of motherly worry.

"Annabelle?" Nick's eyes widened as he remembered what had happened the previous night. "Oh god! Sorry! I crashed at a friend's last night, sorry. Are you guys at the hospital?" He was sitting up now and had almost kicked Jake in the face as he tried to pull on his shoes.

"You never texted us which hospital it was."

"Sorry, sorry, it's the one closest to the college, St Jared's or something."

"Okay, will we meet you there?"

"Yeah, I'll be there soon. I don't know whether he'll be in ICU or what."

"Okay, we'll find out."

"I'll see you down there."

"See you there."

Annabelle hung up and Nick was on his feet halfway to the door.

"Eat first," Nina called from the kitchen.

"I can't, I've gotta meet his parents. And I've asked enough of you."

"Nick…"

"I'm sorry, Nina," he said quickly before he ran out. He was downstairs in a flash and pounding the pavement again.

The hospital wasn't as far away as it had felt the night before and Nick had burst through the front doors before he knew it. He approached the information desk but was distracted by someone calling his name. He turned to find the Smythes standing and approaching him. Annabelle looked as if she'd been crying and Marcus just looked angry.

"What's happened? Is he okay?"

"He's still in the ICU. He isn't awake yet and they've got drainage tubes in his arms so we can't see him because of infection risks," Annabelle answered before she teared up again.

"The wounds were bad enough to necessitate that?" Nick asked, swallowing nervously. Had Sebastian really been in such horrible condition last night?

"One of the wounds had something in it; he'd tried to poison his blood that way as well. They had to open it up, that's probably why they couldn't come out to explain to you what was happening," Marcus answered before he shook his head. "I never thought he'd try this again…"

"He'd been feeling desperate for a while," Nick murmured. "I'd tried talking to him, been taking him to see the counsellor at school. Guess it wasn't helping like it should have."

"Did he leave a note or anything?" Annabelle managed to whisper from where she stood pressed against her husband. She looked like a fragile young girl and Nick wanted to throw himself in a hole. He should have worked harder to prevent this. They shouldn't have to be here to clean up Sebastian's mess.

"He did, I left it at the apartment – oh god, the apartment…"

"I can get someone to clean it up, and we can bring you some clothes and stuff. Will you go back to school on Monday or will you stick around here?" Marcus asked.

"Depends what happens I suppose," Nick answered with a shrug. "I might stay with Jake and Nina though."

"I think that's a good idea, it'll be good for you to be around other people," Annabelle answered with a smile.

Nick nodded before they were approached by a doctor in a long white coat. He was young and smiled sadly at the three.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Paulson, are you the Smythes?"

"Yes we are. I'm Marcus and this is my wife Annabelle and our son Nick," he answered quickly, winking at Nick when the doctor looked down at the file in his hands.

"Well, Sebastian's a stubborn kid. There were a few close calls last night but he pulled through. He's critical but for what he did to himself and what we had to do, he's stabilised very quickly. The infection risk is still high because of the drainage tubes we have in but they should be able to come out this afternoon, his blood's almost clean."

"What did he have in his blood?" Nick asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

"The carbon shavings from a pencil sharpener," Doctor Paulson answered with a grim expression. "It wasn't so much the shavings that were the problem but the bacteria that was in there with them, and the bacteria he exposed himself to. The scars aren't going to heal very well but we've got most of it out of his system so he should be alright."

"Will we be able to see him after the drainage tubes are taken out?" Annabelle asked.

"Not immediately but yes, you will be able to," Doctor Paulson looked to Nick then. "Now I understand that you found Sebastian and came in with him last night."

"Yeah…" Nick was putting up his defences now.

"I spoke to the nurses who were on duty and they said you were quite shaken – if you want to talk to someone about happened, you're quiet welcome to but obviously you're not obligated to anything. They were just concerned that this might have hit you pretty hard."

"Y-Yeah, it did… Um, I might – I might take you up on that offer," Nick answered, nodding before he remembered the pretence he was keeping up with the Smythes and he turned to them. "Is that okay with you guys?"

"That's fine, honey, it'll be good for you," Annabelle said with a smile, rubbing his back quickly before she pushed him forward as Doctor Paulson led him away.

"One of my colleagues is a grief and trauma counsellor who works with kids and teenagers – you're eighteen or nineteen, yes?"

"Yeah, eighteen," Nick answered, knowing that if he said he was the same age as Sebastian, it would be suspicious.

"Cool. And you don't have to pretend that you're Sebastian's brother – Nadia explained everything," Doctor Paulson winked before he diverted down a corridor and stopped at the first door on the right, knocking and opening the door.

Inside was a small room with several comfortable looking armchairs, another young man sitting in one of them scribbling on a notepad but he stopped and looked up with a smile when Nick and Doctor Paulson walked in. He got to his feet and he was far less threatening in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Dom, this is Nick," Doctor Paulson introduced them.

"Hey Nick, how are you?"

"I'm fine," Nick said quietly with a small smile, watching Dom warily.

"Nick came in with Sebastian last night, needs to talk some stuff out," Doctor Paulson added.

"Well I'm sure we can sort something out, come have a seat Nick."

Nick obliged but took note of Dom asking after Sebastian's condition before Doctor Paulson left.

"Can I get you something to drink? Water, juice, Coke?"

"Juice thanks."

"Orange okay?"

"Yeah."

Dom moved to a fridge concealed behind a cupboard, taking out two bottles of juice and handing one to Nick before he sat down again.

"Now Nick, just before we get started. Everything you tell me is confidential, I can't tell anyone else. I won't repeat anything that you tell me unless I think you could be in danger of hurting yourself or others."

"Okay."

"Is there anything in particular that you want to say or ask?"

Nick shook his head. "I just… I just don't really know what to do."

"You mean you don't how to cope?"

"I've never known how to cope," Nick scoffed. "Since he called me from the bathroom at Dalton and kissed me with cuts on his arms at Christmas and fucking wrecked his arm when he knew I was coming over anyway. For the past three months I've had to watch him get dressed in the mornings to cover the bandages on his arms from all the relapses he had. No one teaches you how to deal with people at school or college or whatever. We're just expected to figure it out and deal with it ourselves – like we're equipped to watch the love of our life destroy themselves."

The floodgates were open and Nick just talked. He talked about Sebastian's cutting, about how Blaine had been trying to teach Nick how to manage it, about how Nick had tried to understand it by imitating it. Dom sat across from him listening, asking for clarification where he needed. But he listened and Nick felt safe. For once, the attention and worry and concern wasn't saved for Sebastian, it was all for him. He felt valued and when this idea snuck its way into his train of thought, he stopped midsentence and started to cry.

Dom handed him a wad of tissues and waited patiently for him to calm down again, blow his nose and dry his eyes. They lapsed into silence before Dom spoke.

"Nick, I think you need to talk to Sebastian – when you can – and explain to him how it makes you feel."

"He knows how I feel, he wrote about it in the note he left for me. He said he couldn't stand to see my disappointment anymore and that he didn't want to keep hurting me."

There was a pause before Dom continued. "A lot of people who are suicidal, particularly teenagers I've found, don't consider that their deaths will cause more pain than them being alive will. Now obviously when he wakes up, we're going to talk to Sebastian about that, but I think if you talk to him about it too, it might help him see it a little more clearly."

"What if he doesn't listen? Or what if he tries again as soon as he gets home? One of our other friends said to me once that people like Seb get caught in a cycle and either break it or die trying. What if he dies trying?"

"There are going to be things put in place to prevent that from happening," Dom paused before asking: "You and Sebastian live together yeah?"

"Yeah," Nick answered, sniffling slightly.

"We can get you some pamphlets and notes on what to look for, warning signs and such so that you can talk to Sebastian if you think he's getting bad again. But Nick, the thing you need to remember is that Sebastian is very lucky to have someone like you in his life."

"Why?"

"Because you care enough to worry. It hurts because you care and that's not nothing."

Nick swallowed and nodded before he glanced up at the clock. They'd been talking for an hour and a half. "I should try to find the Smythes, see if they have any news."

"Fair enough, I'll get you that information though."

Nick waited while Dom shuffled through papers before he returned with a manila folder full of pamphlets and pages.

"You don't have to read it straight away, just as you feel ready or are curious," Dom said with a smile.

"Thanks, Dom."

"You're welcome, Nick. And remember: He's lucky to have you looking after him."

Nick smiled and nodded before he headed back out into the bustling hospital. The world was big and dark and scary but that tiny encouragement might be enough to get him through the day.

**A/N: I've been cruel to Nick long enough so here's a little redemption for him. I wanted to make this chapter a little longer because I'm not sure how Nick will bide his time until he can see Sebastian. We'll see what happens :) Thank you for reading Frank xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

Warnings: Talk of depression, self-harm and suicide. Medical mumbo jumbo that may make some a little squeamish.

Disclaimer: Surprise! I'm still not an owner of Glee!

**Chapter 4:**

Nick sat with the Smythes all day until Doctor Paulson called Marcus at half past three. Apparently the drainage tubes had been taken out and one of Sebastian's parents would be allowed to see him. Marcus opted to go, knowing his wife would just breakdown. He clapped Nick on the shoulder before he disappeared into the crowd.

"Did talking to the counsellor help with anything?" Annabelle asked as she turned her empty coffee cup around aimlessly.

"Yeah, a little. It all really came back to talking to Sebastian about stuff though," Nick answered, forcing a smile.

Annabelle reached across the table and squeezed his hand gently. "In time, sweetie. He'll wake up in the next few days and then he'll be home with us."

"You're not gonna try the psych ward again?"

Annabelle shook her head. "It frustrated him – he'd call each night begging to come home, it was heartbreaking. We'll get him the best treatment we can though; we won't let him do this to you again."

"What do we tell the school?" Nick asked, vaguely remembering the paper he was supposed to be writing.

"We'll explain the situation to them as well. Do you want us to talk to your parents or will you contact them?"

"I'll do it," Nick said as he nodded. That would be a fun conversation: "Hey mom, I'm fine, Sebastian almost killed himself on Friday night but we're fine, could you send up the rest of my clothes too, please?" He cringed.

"Did you want us to drive you back to your friend's house tonight?"

"If it's not any trouble."

"It's no trouble, dear."

They lapsed into silence again, looking around themselves at the passers-by before Marcus reappeared, a grim look on his face.

"How is he?" Nick asked, leaning forward in his chair.

Marcus sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "He's white as a sheet, hooked up to heart monitors and oxygen monitors and tubes coming out of everywhere. The nurses have to change the bandages every few hours because the stitches are only mediocre because of how bad he was last night. They still have to redo them, hopefully tonight. They've lined his stomach with charcoal to neutralise the pills he took but they said something about brain damage and liver damage."

"Yeah – the overdose will have damaged his liver and the unconsciousness will affect his brain," Nick murmured. "We've just been looking at that in my classes."

"We won't know anything for sure until he wakes up and they can see how coherent he is," Marcus added. "For now we just have to hope for the best."

Annabelle stood then, slinging her bag over shoulder. "I'll be back, just popping to the bathroom. Do either of you want me to grab drinks on the way back?"

"I'm fine," Nick answered, feeling guilty that she'd already bought him lunch that day. Marcus shook his head and they watched as she walked away before Marcus looked to Nick seriously.

"Do you want to see him?"

"I-I'm not supposed to, I'm not family."

"Nick, he has to wake up. The nurses were saying that they wake up faster if they hear things familiar to them. I might be Sebastian's dad but I haven't seen him since you two moved up here – Annabelle and I aren't familiar, you are."

"You think that if I talk to him he'll wake up?" Nick asked incredulously.

"I'm hoping it'll help."

"Marcus, that sounds kind of insane."

"Please Nick, please… I need him back – we _all_ need him back."

The look of sheer hurt and pain in Marcus' eyes made Nick want to cry but he nodded. He didn't think it would work, but he could still try, if only for Annabelle and Marcus' sake.

"Go down to the ICU and explain that I sent you down, the nurses know to expect you. I'll tell Annabelle that you went for a walk."

"Okay," Nick said quietly before he took a deep breath and made his way down to the ICU, following the overhead signs.

The ICU was louder than he'd expected with people buzzing around and monitors everywhere beeping as the patients they were hooked up to clung to life. He made a beeline for the nurses' station where he was surprised to find Nadia flipping through a file. She looked up and smiled as she realised who it was.

"Nick! It's good to see you! Are you feeling better?"

"A little," he admitted, shrugging. "Marcus Smythe sent me down, said something about sitting and talking to Sebastian."

"Ah yes, that was my suggestion," she answered as she stood and walked around the low wall enclosing the nurses' station and led Nick down the corridor. "I need you to wash your hands with our special disinfectant before I let you see him but then you can chat away 'til your heart's content."

"Do you really think it will help? Me talking to him?"

"His dad came down and was just distraught when he left. He only sat with Sebastian for three minutes before he had to leave. I think Marcus is scared that this could be it and that he's grappling for anything that could save his son. The worst kind of death there is, is the death of a child, particularly your own."

Nick nodded his understanding as Nadia led him into a small washroom and showed him how to properly clean his hands. The disinfectant smelt medicinal and Nick idly wondered what would happen if he accidentally ingested it while eating or something. He rinsed his hands and Nadia helped dry them off before they headed into the corridor and to a room at the end of hallway.

Inside, Sebastian lay motionless on the bed, the only sign of life the steady rise and fall of his chest and the bleeping of machines. Heavy white bandages were wound around each arm, IV lines disappearing into the maze of gauze. Purple bruises pooled under his closed eyes and an oxygen mask rested over his nose and mouth.

"He's breathing on his own?" Nick asked as he carefully sat down.

"Yeah, surprising isn't it? His oxygen saturation leaves a little to be desired for but he's doing surprisingly well for someone in his situation," Nadia said with a smile. "I'll wait outside; I can't give you any more than ten minutes though."

"Thanks Nadia," Nick said with a smile before he looked to Sebastian, frowning sadly. He looks over his boyfriend's body, the lower half covered by blankets. Nick carefully reaches for Sebastian's hand through the railings, his fingers cold and stiff and the bandages scratchy against Nick's skin. He smiles crookedly before his throat closes and sobs wrack his chest.

"Wake up you stupid bastard!" he gasped, squeezing Sebastian's hand. "Wake up so I can tell you how much I love you! And that I forgive you and that I want to help you! Just wake up and look at me! Wake up Sebastian, so that I don't have to go home alone and that I don't have to explain what happened. Because it hurts having to explain that the most amazing person in the world doesn't love himself as much as I do. And it hurts knowing that there's nothing I can say to change your mind."

Nick stood, reaching up and smoothing a hand over Sebastian's hair, trying to push it to sit the way Sebastian made it. That just made him cry harder and he leaned down to press a teary kiss to Sebastian's forehead before he straightened and wiped at his eyes.

"I love you okay, Seb? Ya hear me? I love you, and I'm not going to give up," he whispered finally before he left.

Outside, Nadia pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back as he cried before he finally pulled away and calmed himself down.

"It's going to be okay, Nick, nothing bad is going to-"

The last word was drowned out by the loud blaring of machines going berserk in the room beside them. Nick looked through the window in horror to see Sebastian's head had lolled to the side. Nurses and doctors descended around them, pushing him out of the way to surround Sebastian's bed.

"Nick, go find the Smythes, there's a waiting room where you came in, sit in there and wait for me or Doctor Paulson, okay?"

Nick nodded numbly to Nadia before he headed back to find the Smythes.

Nadia had spoken too soon.

**A/N: So there's that heartbreaking little piece. Just note that most of the medical policies/practices I've mentioned here are most likely inaccurate but I'm twisting reality to fit what I need :P Thanks for reading and look out for the next chapter, probably a bit of a longer wait this time because I have a full day at school tomorrow. Frank xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

Warnings: Swearing, medical mumbo jumbo.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee and I'm not a medical genius so I don't know how accurate this information is (more accurate than the last few chapters though).

**Chapter 5:**

Nick knew the Smythes could tell something was wrong as soon as they took in his facial expression. He shrugged, he couldn't find the words, he just didn't know how to tell them he'd spoken to Sebastian and then his heart had given out or something and the ICU team were now trying to preserve his life.

"Nick, what happened?" Annabelle asked, reaching out to grasp his shoulder. "Where have you been?"

"I went down to the ICU and sat with Sebastian… You just – just come back with me, you need to be down there."

"Why?" Marcus asked as he stood, helping his wife to her feet.

"The monitors went nuts just as I was about to leave, something's not right," Nick answered numbly, shrugging again.

Marcus paused for a moment before he broke into a run. Annabelle and Nick followed but when they got down to the ICU, no one would stop to listen to the Smythes' questions. Nick stood back, watching it all unfold around him before he leaned back against a wall and slipped down to sit against it, knees drawn up to his chest. People rushed around him, not noticing he was there and he let his head fall forward as he tried not to cry before he felt a hand on his arm.

Looking up again, he was surprised to find Dom bobbed down next to him, a worried look on his face.

"Nick, what's happened?"

"He's dead – or dying – or something's happened, I don't fucking know anymore…"

Dom looked further down the hall before he looked to Nick. "Come on, we'll go sit in the waiting room, don't want anyone tripping over you," he said before he pulled Nick to his feet. The Smythes were nowhere to be seen but Nick was beyond caring now. He was beyond anything.

The waiting room was empty aside from the two young men and Nick curled in on himself on one of the vinyl couches. Nick didn't know what to say to Dom, whether he needed to say anything at all. He just stared at the floor and tried to keep the tears from coming even though he knew he was too numb to actually cry. He was sick of crying.

"Nick, do you need me to do anything?"

He blinked several times before he turned to Dom, shaking his head in confusion. "Does the world want him or not? He's plagued with this misery and he tries to rid himself of it but then the world makes me find him and now it's trying to take him again? Maybe they should stop trying to save him; maybe they should just let him die. Do him a favour, do me a favour…"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't ever wanna have to watch this again, I don't ever wanna have to sit in a hospital and wait for news when he takes a turn. I want to see him alive and happy and _awake_. I don't want my last memory to be the monitors going off and his body trying to give up."

Dom nodded in understanding before he looked up as someone rushed into the room, panting. Nick turned to face them and saw it was Nadia.

"He's alive, he's alive… He's alive, but the doctors are afraid that his liver's going to give up."

Nick turned away, holding his head in his hands. "Fucking hell…"

"They're taking blood samples from his parents to see if either of them are a match and they're going to call his-"

"Take mine," Nick straightened again. "Take my blood."

"Nick, would you really be willing to give him part of your liver? If your body doesn't handle it, you could die," Dom murmured, leaning forward.

"We don't even know if he's a match yet, Dom," Nadia pointed out.

"And if he is?"

"He'd be the perfect candidate – except for height, they're the same body type and Nick's a healthy young man."

Dom looked between them worriedly before he threw up his hands in surrender. "Whatever – you're the medical specialist here."

Nadia nodded and Nick followed her down to a small room where the Smythes were sitting holding cotton buds to the creases of their elbows. Nick sat down in the spare chair while Nadia grabbed a syringe and some sterile wipes after she gloved her hands. A tourniquet was secured higher up on his arm and he leaned back, staring at the ceiling. She cleaned the area and found Nick's vein easily, sticking the needle in and drawing out the blood slowly.

"They're testing your blood too, Nick?" Annabelle asked, surprised.

"I'd rather know that I can't save him than lose him and find out later that I could have."

"You don't have to do this honey, we'll find a donor," Annabelle pressed.

"We don't even know if we need one yet," Marcus added.

"Exactly."

"Just let me do this – I need to do this," Nick whispered and he kept repeating it to himself until Nadia pressed a cotton bud over the small hole in his arm.

"I'll run these to the lab right now and come find you in the waiting room."

"Sebastian's stable again though right?" Nick asked as he held the cotton bud down with two fingers, bending his arm to apply more pressure.

"For now," Nadia said sadly before she left.

The other nurse handed them each bandaids then and they headed back to the waiting room where Dom was sitting, fiddling on his phone. He looked up and smiled as Nick and the Smythes sat down.

"Hi, I'm Dom, I spoke with Nick this afternoon. Is everything going to be okay with Sebastian?"

"Here's hoping," Marcus said as he sunk into the couch.

"He should be fine, Nadia's tenacious – no one gets by her."

They lapsed into silence, Nick leaning forward in his chair as he waited for Nadia to get back with a verdict. There were only a few possibilities, the odds weren't that bad. Nick could be put on standby for a liver transplant. … He'd just agreed to give Sebastian part of his liver. Part of his _liver_.

It was a full half hour before Nadia returned with three pieces of paper.

"Are any of us a match?" Marcus asked, an arm wound tightly around his wife. Nick felt Dom's hand squeeze his shoulder but his eyes were focused on Nadia as his heart hammered in his chest.

"Two of you were…"

"Which two?" Nick asked, a sinking feeling in his chest.

"Annabelle and Nick."

Nick's head jerked towards Annabelle, pleading in his eyes.

"Which one of us would be a better match?" Annabelle asked as she watched Nick.

"We match donors on the grounds of blood and body type. Age and gender don't particularly matter but a younger liver may cope better with the change," Nadia answered, looking between the two. Nick couldn't tell if she was siding with him or just giving the information.

Annabelle nodded before she moved to take Nick's hand. "If you're truly comfortable and ready to do this, do it. You have my blessing, dear."

Nick looked to Nadia nervously. "When will we know if he needs the transplant?"

"We'll have an answer to that by morning. Because we don't know, I'll have to ask you not to have anything to eat or drink between now and when you come back."

"Okay um, what complications are possible? Like, could I die?"

"You could get infections and you'll be pretty weak for a few weeks but the chance of you dying is pretty slim," Nadia answered.

Nick nodded. "Sign me up then."

"You're doing a beautiful thing," Nadia said with a smile before she disappeared from the waiting room.

Nick wasn't sure if it was a beautiful thing or if it was just an insane thing.

**A/N: I don't know how this whole liver transplant thing happened. Probably because Nick can't donate a heart. He kinda needs that one. But yes, this fic is gonna be a lot longer than I'd anticipated. Thanks for reading :) Frank xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

Warnings: Medical squick, swearing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, what kind of fanfic writer owns the thing they write for.

**Chapter 6:**

Nick had gone back to Jake and Nina's not long after making the decision. He refused the Smythes offers to drive him there, knowing he needed time to think. He imagined what could go wrong and what could go right. He saw himself lying awake in the operating room, waiting to be knocked out and just watching Sebastian's face from across the room. He had no idea if he'd be in the same room as Sebastian. He had no idea about anything. He knew that he wanted to save his boyfriend's life though and that was enough.

Climbing up the stairs to Jake and Nina's apartment was exhausting over the traumatic day and when they'd let him inside, he'd gone straight to the couch, sinking into it gratefully. Jake sat by his side, watching him anxiously as Nina put the kettle on.

"So how is he?" Jake ventured, growing sick of Nick's silence.

"He is alive and asleep and probably going to need a new liver."

"Oh god…"

"W-Where's he going to get one from? Can his parents help? Or his sister?" Nina asked as she came back in, smoothing her hands over her skirt.

"His mother's a match," Nick answered, glancing around before he nodded. "And so am I."

Jake narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "So which one of you is giving him the liver?"

"I am."

"Nick, no," Nina said immediately.

"You can't."

"Why the hell not?" Nick asked, looking between his friends. "I'm a match; I'm the same body type. My liver's in better shape than Annabelle's will be."

"What about complications?" Nina asked, touching his knee and squeezing gently. "This could end worse than it started."

"How? How could it possibly end worse than it started? With him alive and me dead? Or both of us dead? Or maybe we could both be alive and we could go home and finish college and be happy," Nick stood and turned back to them. "If you're not going to support me then I'm leaving. I was hoping you'd be nice to me and look after me."

"Nick, you're nineteen – you aren't equipped to make this kind of decision," Jake said seriously.

"And what? You are? You're the same age as Sebastian and I. Just because you graduated early and lived here longer doesn't mean you know anything about us or how we can handle ourselves. I don't even know if he needs the transplant yet and you're trying to take away the option before it's even there!"

"Nick, we're-"

"No, don't bother," he shook his head as he stormed out into the corridor. He didn't slam the door, he was too tired for that. He let it click shut behind him before he sat on the ground and leaned back against it, staring up at the skylight high above him.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether to go home and get clothes or if he needed anything. He knew he needed a shower, that was about it. He would skip any offers of dinner in case he got a call from the hospital during the night saying that they needed him. He somehow doubted they would.

After a while, he heard footsteps behind him and he jumped when the door opened behind him and Jake stepped around him.

"You okay?"

"I don't even know if I'm scared, like, at the prospect of having to give him part of me? I get it's a big thing to do but like … I just said "yes", I didn't give any thought to it. It was a gut instinct."

"I'm sorry we tried to tell you you were making the wrong decision," Jake answered as he sat down. "We were wrong; you're old enough to make your own decisions…"

"You were worried about me, I'm sorry I yelled and stormed off."

"It's okay," Jake answered as he put a hand on Nick's back.

They didn't say much else until their silence was interrupted by Nick's phone going off. As he pulled it from his pocket he was surprised it still had battery considering he hadn't been home in two days. He didn't recognise the number.

"Hello?"

"Nick? It's Nadia."

"What is it? Is he okay?"

"His liver's giving up – he's almost choked on vomit twice and he's jaundiced. We need you in here right now."

"Okay, I'm on my way," Nick clicked off his phone and looked to Jake with fear in his eyes. "His liver's giving up; they need me over there right now."

"I'll drive you," Jake said as he jumped to his feet. Jake ran inside to get his keys, explaining to Nina what was going on before they were bounding downstairs and to the basement car park.

"Do you need to call anyone? Do your parents know what's going on?"

"Fuck, I haven't told them yet," Nick answered before he pulled out his phone. "I'll call them now."

His phone rang for a long time and he wondered what time it was before his mother picked up.

"Nick, how wonderful to hear from-"

"Mom, there isn't a lot of time. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner but everything's been kind of insane up here," he went on to explain the last three days. Sebastian's suicide attempt, meeting with Dom, being a match for a liver transplant and the fact that he was now on his way to surrender part of a major organ to his boyfriend.

"Well, do you want me or your father to come up and be with you? Do you need us to sign anything?"

"No, it should all be fine, _I'll_ be fine."

"Nick, I know you better than that."

He sighed. "I know you do, but it's too late now. He'll die if I don't do this…"

"You are incredibly brave, my darling. Have someone call me with updates okay? And your father and I will come up next weekend and see what we can do to help out."

"Thanks mom, I love you."

"I love you too, Nick. Take care of yourself, alright?"

"I will, bye." He hung up and looked to Jake who was concentrating on the road.

"We're almost there, I'll park in the first space we see."

"Thanks Jake."

"No problem," he glanced in his rear view mirror before they pulled up outside the hospital, snagging a parallel parking space.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Jake asked as Nick clambered out of the car. He hesitated for a moment before he nodded and soon the pair were running through the hospital doors and down to the ICU, dodging patients, doctors and family members as they went. They both almost slipped as they rounded the corner into the ICU, the floor freshly waxed before Nick eyed Nadia by the nurses' station.

"Where do you need me?"

"Okay, we need to do another blood test just to make sure everything's clear. Then we'll do a chest x-ray and an electrocardiogram but before any of that happens we need to admit you."

"Okay, where do I go then?"

"This way," Nadia answered before she led him down the corridor, past Sebastian into the next room. She gestured for Nick to sit on the bed and she secured identification bracelets around each wrist.

"Are you allergic to anything Nick? Particularly medicines."

"I'm allergic to peanuts and penicillin."

Nadia scribbled it down onto a red wristband and secured that around his wrist as well. "I've just gotta put some stuff on the back of your hands to numb them up so it doesn't hurt when we stick needles in later. The cream can make the skin go red but it's nothing to worry about."

"Okay," Nick answered, swallowing.

"Your friend can stay with you for a while but from the x-ray to the electrocardiogram to the surgery is going to be pretty quick," Nadia said before she hurried away again. He idly wondered if she ever slept.

"I might go home when they take you up then, Nick," Jake murmured. "I can drop by your place and get you and Sebastian some stuff if you want."

"Please," Nick answered. "Thanks too."

"No problem."

Nick eventually lay back on the bed and when Nadia returned, everything was a rush to get him ready for the surgery. Tests were done, surgery sites washed down with horrible disinfectant that stained his skin yellow and then after he'd changed into a gown, they wheeled him down to the operating room.

Nadia was still with him and she stood beside the bed, squeezing his hand as anaesthesiologists stuck needles in the backs of his hands and held a mask over his face.

"You'll start feeling drowsy soon, just go with it, I'm not going to let go of you," Nadia said softly, stroking his hair.

"Just look after Seb, okay?" Nick asked but the talking invited more anaesthesia into his lungs and before he could hear Nadia's response, he was unconscious.

**A/N: I didn't really want to go too in depth into the pre-op stuff but there you go. Nick's having part of his liver taken out. He totally planned to do that today :P But I know it was said in one of the chapters I posted last night, donation is a beautiful thing and if you are eligible, even just to give blood, you could save someone's life. Just something to think about. It'll hopefully be a little happier from here on out but I don't know. Thanks for reading :) Frankie xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

Warnings: A bit of gross stuff but nothing astronomical.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sebastian Smythe or Nick Warbler, because that would be creepy.

**Chapter 7:**

The room he woke in was white. People whispered around him as hands rested on his forehead and stroked his upper arm. He tried to move his fingers but they were numb and heavy. He blinked, trying to clear his vision but he only fell asleep again.

In and out of sleep he drifted. There were always voices around him. Always someone touching him. But he never saw who it was, always falling asleep again just before he found them.

He woke up once more and it was darker, a light off to one side. Someone else's hand cradled his own and he found the strength to squeeze it gently. The hand jostled and pulled before his mother appeared in his line of sight.

"Oh sweetie, thank god you're awake! How are you feeling?"

"M-Mom? What are you-" he trailed off as a wave of pain washed over him and his face scrunched up as he tried to breathe.

"It's alright, I'll call the nurse to bring you some pain relief," she murmured, disappearing from his side for a few moments before she returned, holding his hand tightly.

"W-Where am I?" he managed to get out between clenched teeth.

"You're in the hospital, dear, you haven't been very well."

"How long?"

"You were brought in on Friday night."

There was the sound of footsteps and jangling keys before a young nurse stood at his other side. "He's awake! I'm guessing we need some pain medicine?"

"Please," he whispered, letting his head sink into the pillow.

"Just be careful moving around too much sweetie, you've got lots of tubes sticking out of you," the nurse said as she fiddled with something beside the bed, the loud beeping making his head pound.

"I don't remember…" he murmured.

"We know honey, don't worry about it now, just get some sleep and we'll explain when you're more awake."

"Where is he?"

He didn't hear the response, he only fell asleep again.

Where was Nick?

Marcus watched his son's boyfriend sadly. They'd said Nick should wake up first. What did it mean that Sebastian had been up and waiting for answers for hours now? The nurses had assured him that Nick was fine, that some people took longer to come out of anaesthesia and that he probably needed the sleep after his long few days. Dom the counsellor had dropped by a few times to see how he was; dismayed every time to see Nick was still fast asleep.

It was close to midnight and Marcus was finally drifting off to sleep as well when he heard a soft groan beside him. He sat up straight, leaning towards Nick's bed and taking his hand carefully as the boy's eyes fluttered open. Nick looked around the room before his brown eyes settled on Marcus.

"Welcome back, buddy. How are you feeling?"

"Tired…" Nick took a few deep breaths. "Is he okay?"

"Sebastian's fine, won't stop asking how you are," Marcus answered with a grin. "He was horrified when he found out that you gave him part of your liver."

"He was dying," Nick said quietly.

"He knows that. I think you have some interesting conversations ahead of you."

Nick nodded before he felt his throat contract and he groaned before he vomited down his front. He could hear Marcus swearing beside him, trying to find the call button before he pressed a cloth to his face, wiping away some of the slime.

"Guess it's 'cause you were under so long," Marcus murmured.

Nick simply nodded. A nurse hurried in, relaxing visibly when she saw that Nick had only thrown up. She turned to a sink and wet a cloth with warm water, clearing Nick's face and neck.

"It's good to see you awake, Nick," she said as she worked. "We'll get you cleaned up and try to get some food into you. But tonight you just need to rest. We'll have you and Sebastian up on the ward tomorrow and you two can chatter away as long as you like."

Nick nodded again and let the nurse clean him up and change his hospital gown before he fell asleep again. The pain wasn't too bad and he didn't feel like throwing up again. He guessed now it was just a matter of time until he got to see Sebastian.

And he wasn't afraid of what he'd find this time.

**A/N: Just a short and sweet little chapter. I've been a little braindead today and fighting with people and websites trying to sort out uni applications so I haven't gotten as much done as I would have liked. But I hope you enjoyed this and are looking forward to the boys finally being back together :) Frankie xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

Warnings: A little medical squick and some cuteness

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee, not into screenwriting.

**Chapter 8:**

Nick was wheeled up to the surgical ward first the next day. He was in far less pain than he expected but he put that down to hitting the pain button four times since he woke up around midnight. Marcus and Annabelle had switched and she now sat beside him, flipping through a magazine tiredly.

"Are you and Marcus gonna head back to the hotel later?" Nick asked from where he lay in bed, propped up against some pillows.

"We'll see how Sebastian goes first," she answered, not looking up.

"Is everything alright, Annabelle?"

"It's fine," she said tersely. Nick didn't push her, not wanting Sebastian to have to arrive and find his boyfriend and his mother arguing.

Not long after that thought, the door to the room was pushed open and a sleeping Sebastian was wheeled into the room. As they positioned his bed a few feet away from Nick's, Nick observed his boyfriend. He had a tube sticking out his nose and several drainage bags hung off the railings. His arms were still heavily bandaged and bags still hung heavily under his eyes but his chest rose and fell steadily. He was breathing on his own. He was alive.

"You doing alright, Nick?" the male nurse, Tim, asked as he pulled the thermometer off its holder on the wall.

"Yeah, just tired."

"Fair enough," Tim answered as he took Nick's temperature. He swapped the thermometer for a blood pressure cuff. "Have you eaten anything today?"

"Tried some toast this morning but wasn't very hungry."

"You need to eat something before tomorrow, gonna try and get you up and walking in the morning," Tim said with a smile as the cuff inflated to a painful degree. "Pain levels still fine?"

"Yep."

"No nausea?"

"Stomach's grumbled a little but no nausea," Nick answered with a flash of teeth before he tried to subtly peer around Tim to get another look at Sebastian, to make sure he hadn't woken.

"He'll be out for a while longer, bud," Tim murmured. "Had a healthy dose of painkillers before we wheeled him up, didn't want him in pain when he got here in case he stayed awake long enough to see you."

"Thanks," Nick replied quietly though he wasn't sure why he was thankful. He guessed it was for Sebastian's sake.

Tim disappeared soon after that and when he did, Nick realised that Annabelle had slipped from the room unnoticed. He was alone with Sebastian, unable to reach him but able to watch and smile at the fact they were finally together.

Before he knew what he was doing, Nick was talking.

"Hey Seb. You're looking better. I hope you feel better too… I think your mom's angry that I gave you my liver. Well, part of it. I'm just happy you're alive – you're happy too right? Or are you still too sleepy to be happy? Your dad seemed good last night; he was sitting with me when I woke up. He said you wouldn't stop asking about me. What were you asking? I wish I had the energy to sing to you, or that you had the energy to sing to me. Maybe we'll have to put a raincheck on that."

Nick paused, watching for any sign that Sebastian was waking up. He was trying not to talk about what had happened, he didn't want to bring up any memories of the time before the liver transplant.

"I love you, Sebastian," Nick murmured finally before he turned his head and closed his eyes to try and get some sleep himself.

He was pulled back awake by the sound of soft coughs and a single whisper.

"Love you too."

Nick looked back to Sebastian, tearing up at the sight of his boyfriend's perfect, goofy smile as he squinted over. Nick didn't know what to do with himself as he started laughing softly, the chuckles turning into groans as the action hurt his stomach. He groped around for his pain pump, hitting the button before he looked back to Sebastian.

"How are you feeling, Seb?"

"Kinda high," he answered, chuckling softly himself but he was beyond feeling pain. "These drugs are good…"

"Yeah," Nick answered before he resigned himself to simply smiling at Sebastian.

"I'm glad you found me, Nick, even though I hate it had to be you… I just wasn't-"

"You don't have to explain," Nick interrupted, shaking his head. "Everything's going to be okay now, I promise."

"But how do you know? … It'd be so much easier for me to-"

"I know because I love you, and you love me, and we're going to get through this. Together." Nick shook his head again and wished he could touch Sebastian. "I'm not giving up on you."

Sebastian smiled slightly. "Thank you for saving me … twice."

"It was my pleasure," Nick murmured.

"I'll never love anyone like I love you, Nicholas Tristan Duvall."

"Right back at ya," Nick said with a smile before he watched as Sebastian fell asleep again. He soon drifted off to sleep as well, some small part of him confident that they would never find themselves here again.

Nick was sure this would be the only one there ever was.

**A/N: Yay for cheesy ending lines! I've enjoyed writing this and I hope you've enjoyed reading it. I don't know what's in store next for these two, if there's anything at all. These fics have really just been a way to cope with my own struggles over the past few weeks but it's not really helping anymore and it's been a struggle to write these last few chapters. If inspiration strikes again, I' be sure to share it all with you but consider this a fic writing hiatus notice. Thanks again for reading :) Frankie xoxo**


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